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    Monogamy: A Novel
    Monogamy: A Novel
    Monogamy: A Novel
    Audiobook10 hours

    Monogamy: A Novel

    Written by Sue Miller

    Narrated by Sue Miller

    3.5/5

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    About this audiobook

    “A sensual and perceptive novel. . . . With humor and humanity, Miller resists the simple scorned-wife story and instead crafts a revelatory tale of the complexities—and the absurdities—of love, infidelity, and grief.”  —O, the Oprah Magazine

    A brilliantly insightful novel, engrossing and haunting, about marriage, love, family, happiness and sorrow, from New York Times bestselling author Sue Miller.

    Graham and Annie have been married for nearly thirty years. Their seemingly effortless devotion has long been the envy of their circle of friends and acquaintances. By all appearances, they are a golden couple.

    Graham is a bookseller, a big, gregarious man with large appetites—curious, eager to please, a lover of life, and the convivial host of frequent, lively parties at his and Annie’s comfortable house in Cambridge. Annie, more reserved and introspective, is a photographer. She is about to have her first gallery show after a six-year lull and is worried that the best years of her career may be behind her. They have two adult children; Lucas, Graham’s son with his first wife, Frieda, works in New York. Annie and Graham’s daughter, Sarah, lives in San Francisco. Though Frieda is an integral part of this far-flung, loving family, Annie feels confident in the knowledge that she is Graham’s last and greatest love.

    When Graham suddenly dies—this man whose enormous presence has seemed to dominate their lives together—Annie is lost. What is the point of going on, she wonders, without him? 

    Then, while she is still mourning Graham intensely, she discovers a ruinous secret, one that will spiral her into darkness and force her to question whether she ever truly knew the man who loved her.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarperAudio
    Release dateSep 8, 2020
    ISBN9780062969712
    Author

    Sue Miller

    Sue Millar es la directora ejecutiva del ministerio Promiseland y supervisa el ministerio infantil en la iglesia Willow Creek. Ha capacitado a miles de otros ministerios para hacer lo mismo.

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    Reviews for Monogamy

    3.5/5

    263 ratings27 reviews

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    • 1/5
      Tedious detail and boring. So many details that it took away from the poor plot line. Just did not care for it at all.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      I'm so sorry I have reached the end of this absolutely fascinating story about the intertwining of so many lives and so beautifully told my Miller. No WONDER it took her six years to produce....there is so much emotional depth in every page---I didn't want to miss a word. I was amazed that Miller was able to make me feel as though she could understand each and every character in the story and how their FELT about what was happening. Very impressive writing.
    • 5/5
      What a natural way to write about sex! Not sensationalistic or effect seeking, but as a natural part of our existence, our breathing, our life. Subtle narration of a web of relationships across generations.
    • 3/5
      Felt like there were too many strands and it was not enjoyable junping from one to another. Some got explored then dropped. The whole “fall” at the end and attempt to wrap things up from that felt really disjointed and ruined the few bits I actually remained interested in.
    • 4/5
      Liked it, maybe especially because the location of much of it takes place near where I have lived and worked for decades. The story and characters are well presented, and the interior dialogs seem true. I can’t say why I didn’t “love” it, but I didn’t, but there was much to like and appreciate.
    • 3/5
      Annie and Graham seem to have the perfect marriage. They enjoy each other’s company, have great sex and complement each other’s lifestyles. Graham is the ebullient and charismatic owner of the bookstore where they met, and she is a photographer. He interacts well with people, and she likes to observe them. It is Graham’s second marriage and Annie’s first. They have one child together, Sarah. He has one son from his first marriage, Lucas. Graham’s first marriage ended because of his infidelity. Like his size, his demands were often too large to be satisfied appropriately. He was a good father but not such a loyal, good husband. Still he has remained on good terms with Frieda, his ex, and the two families have blended so well together, that Annie and Frieda are great friends.The novel examines several different kinds of loving relationships and child-rearing styles. Whatever touches the human condition, like aspirations, hopes and dreams, sibling rivalry, infidelity, sexuality, secrets, creativity, rebellion, fear, and even subtle allusions to some political beliefs, as certain names are sprinkled throughout the book, like Obama, McCain, and Palin, are all worked together, to produce an insightful novel about the lives and lifestyles of “everyman” and ”everywoman”, if I may be so bold as to refer to gender. The novel explores these relationships in great detail, from their birth to their end, through natural and unnatural progressions. In some cases divorce rears its head, in some cases illness creates chaos, and in some cases, alternate life styles interfere with what was once a happy family. Often, our perceptions of what is, have nothing to do with reality and we make judgments based on false assumptions or emotions rather than intellect. The novel explores the disappointments, secrets, betrayals, and grief that a marriage could be wont to, that some couples are bound to encounter or experience over their decades of marriage, as well as their joys and celebrations.On the whole, while the novel is engaging, it is not uplifting. As it explores the complications that come with aging, as we visit our memories and our memory loss, as our friendships new and old dissolve, our misunderstandings and our petty differences enrage, as we conduct business and experience pleasure together and alone, the passage of time, with all the encumbrances it brings to our changing relationships as loved ones are lost to us, is well illustrated and often sadly defined. I wondered, at the end, do most of us feel like outsiders, at one time or another? Do we all have to work out how to feel included and comfortable with ourselves, alone, and not always with a partner, regardless of the circumstances? Do some people simply possess that skill of fitting in, while some of us simply always feel we do not?The author reads her own novel well, which is not always the case, but the narrative frequently gets bogged down as the reader/listener is suddenly shocked with referrals to the sex act or parts of the human body that are unnecessarily crude, or to other natural events with inappropriate references. Why use the expression dog “piss”, when a more polite form of expression is available, or “shitty” diapers when you could say soiled? Such use of language was unexpected and distracting as it took “realistic” a bit too far and was not representative of the work of this fine author.
    • 4/5
      I liked this book -- deep and richly textured with a complex cast of characters -- but I instinctively can only give it 4 stars. Why? Especially since I find absolutely nothing wrong with it. A puzzlement.
    • 4/5
      Graham and Annie have been married for 30 years and to all appearances have the perfect marriage. But as any married person can tell you, appearances are not always what they seem. Sue Miller explores the ups and downs of this marriage, exposing all of its cracks, but also its strengths and joys.
    • 3/5
      This is an introspective study of the marriage of Graham and Annie. Graham dies unexpectedly, and as Annie moves through the grieving process, she discovers some surprising things that she has a hard time handling. The same thing happened to me after I lost my husband very suddenly, so I could relate to this story. However, it may not appeal to many readers.
    • 4/5
      This is a character driven exploration of the marriage between Annie and Graham (Hmm...is that a pun for anagram?) and the extended family that surrounds their marriage. Early in the story, Graham is troubled by an inexplicable infidelity that arose out of an insensitive joke. Annie is not aware of this, but Graham has confided in his ex-wife, Freida, and his long time friend, John. After breaking of his extramarital relationship, Graham dies in his sleep.The rest of the novel explores Annie's grief, her relationship with her daughter, Sarah, and stepson, Lucas, and her long term friendship with Grahams ex, Freida. Graham's outsized personality overshadowed all of those relationships and Annie must navigate them in her new reality. At the house party after Graham's memorial service, Annie becomes aware of the infidelity based on the grieving behavior of the other woman. At this point she begins to question everything about her marriage. Her musings, and her relationships with Freida and the adult children, lead the reader to think through what it means to be monogamous and the various forms that infidelity can take within that relationship. Ultimately, Annie works through her grief and anger and establishes a life built on her own terms.This book might not be for everyone, but I found it interesting to reflect upon as I read it and gave it 4 stars.
    • 4/5
      I almost did not pick this up. It's not my usual type of book to be drawn to. But, I did, here I am, and I guess it all turned outThis is a very reflective book - a deep character study of two people in a second marriage and those in their orbit. It is an examination of their marriage relationship - a dissection of their marriage really - both through their own eyes (told in alternating perspectives), as well as others in their circle. I didn't particularly like or connect with either member of the couple, but I thought the author did an excellent job of laying these people bare and exploring their emotions, motivations, and values. They felt like people that could be out there in the real world and not just page-people.This view of a marriage is very different from how I think about and approach mine, but IMO the point of is to get window into lives, places, setting, and situations very different from ours. Not a breezy, feel-good read, but it did do that.
    • 2/5
      I was inteeested in the female voice first chapter. Started losing it in the second with the male. Dnf
    • 1/5
      I found this to be very depressing and a very slow read. I gave up early in the book, though other reviewers have said that it gets better later. I didn't have the patience, and found it to be a self-indulgent bit of navel gazing.
    • 4/5
      Amazing book. An adult book. Wonderful insight into marriage and life. Loved the people
    • 4/5
      I really do not know what I think of this book. It is cleverly written and the story is interesting; however, there was nothing that really drove the story after the death of Graham. We learn who Graham really was fro how he affected the lives of the people he associated with. This was really interesting; however, I could not sympathizes with Annie, his second wife. While Graham cheated on her, ear; in there marriage, she was also tempted to do the same.If we twist the story around and make Graham the central character them we have a much more compelling story. He knew that he had his faults, he was like Falstaff in that he like to live his life to the fullest though he associated himself with the intelligentsia and not the petty criminal. Maybe he was more like Bacchus who lived life to the largest and was also a good father to his children.I think that we should leave it to the reader to figure out the story that they would like to follow. However, Richard Russo, in his review, said that it was a story about a pretty successful marriage. In the end are not all stories about love?
    • 4/5
      There is possibly nothing more calming than a traditionally-structured novel about ordinary people leading ordinary lives, especially when that novel is solidly written in a way that doesn't draw attention to itself. Sue Miller writes about the marriage of Graham and Annie, from when they met in the seventies at the opening party for his bookstore, until a few years after Graham's death. This is a novel about grief; the pain of missing someone you love as well as the pain of discovering that that person was not who you thought he was. It's also about the roles we end up taking in a family and how impossible it is to change that. This is a quiet novel, with a lot going on and I appreciated getting to spend time with each member of this family. It felt very honest and real and normal.
    • 3/5
      Monogamy by Sue Miller is a 2020 Harper publication. Takes the long way home…This is my first novel by Sue Miller. The reason I chose it from the library was because I found the premise intriguing. Based on the synopsis, I was hoping for some dark secret to emerge that would explain Graham’s infidelity, but, as it turns out, the story doesn’t offer that as an out. We have two people with very different temperaments- Annie- who is a photographer and more reserved, and Graham, who is the outgoing owner of a bookstore. Despite the differences between them, Graham and Annie have been married, happily, as far as anyone can tell, for thirty years. When Graham dies suddenly, it hits Annie very hard, but before she can begin to grieve in earnest, she discovers her husband has been unfaithful to her. This stunning revelation, for all intents and purposes, derails her ability to mourn her husband, to go through the steps of grief in a healthy way. Instead, her emotions travel down a different path, as she navigates the other relationships in her life, trying not to let on to others what she is going through. The story is very slow moving and perhaps the attempt to branch out and examine the other relationships Annie has cultivated, adding her adult children into the mix, took away from the main purpose of the novel, in my opinion. Despite that, I liked the way the book eventually came together in the end. The flashbacks and memories that aid Annie as she analyzes marriage, her round about journey to accepting Graham’s death, and her own awakening, ultimately makes this a rewarding read. The conclusion is positive and satisfying. Annie embraces the promise of a new day, a new phase in her life, and is finally able to find perspective and peace, instead of pain and bitterness. Overall, this is yet another book I’m not typically drawn to. I stuck it out to the end, and I’m glad it I did, but it was a 'take it or leave it' type of novel for me. It wasn’t great, but not a total loss either. 3 stars
    • 4/5
      Sue Miller is an excellent writer. She is able to capture fully the nuances of relationships and character development, and this book is a testament to her talents.Graham is a large man, both in personality and size with an apparent lack of commitment to monogamy in both of his marriages. His sudden death is a shock to those who love him, especially his second wife, Annie, who awakens to find him dead beside her. He has a daughter, Sarah, with Annie and a son with his first wife, Frieda. The two families are well integrated with Frieda and Annie developing a friendship that includes Frieda in family gatherings. Frieda's confirmation to Annie about Graham's infidelity to Annie creates a rage in her that adds another layer to her grief over his death. Her memories are then overlaid with the knowledge that he shared intimacies with another woman. This is an exploration of marriage, parenting, grief and friendship.
    • 4/5
      Sue Miller is one of my favorite authors. She is excellent about chronicling families and all that entails. In this book,which takes place in Cambridge, Mass, the lead characters are Annie and Graham who are in a 30 year second marriage for both. Graham was in a first marriage with Frieda that was open but ultimately could not be dealt with by Frieda and they divorced. They have a son Lucas and have remained good friends. Annie also has become friends with Frieda. She and Graham have a daughter Sarah and she has a good sibling relationship with Lucas. Sarah lives in S.F. and Lucas in New York. Graham is a large man with large appetites. He owns an iconic local bookstore(this is where he and Annie met) and she is a photographer. This is the set up. Annie and Graham seem to have a good marriage and we see each character through their own and the other characters viewpoint. Miller does a great job of digging deep into the psyche of characters. Within the first 100 pages we see Graham involved in an affair with a woman from their local circle of friends. He is conflicted and decides to break it off. He realizes his love for Annie and then that night suffers a heart attack(age 65) and dies. The rest of the novel is how all the characters deal with Graham's death and how much he was the center of their lives. Annie learns early on about his affair and spends the rest of the novel dealing with her anger while also acknowledging her love for Graham. Miller ties it all together with a fitting conclusion that is about right. The book will strike close to home for those of us who have been married for a long time. Miller does a good job of describing Annie's grief and despair as she sees a long future without Graham. Wasn't easy reading this aspect of the book but I got through it. If you have never read any Sue Miller, this is a good place to start.
    • 4/5
      Although the title reflects one of the possible states of relationships/marriage, the story is really about appetites of all sorts. Graham and Annie are married, the second go-around for him, and he's still closely tied to the first wife, Freida, with whom he has a son. All three live relatively peacefully in Avon Hill, outside of Harvard Square, and Graham owns a renowned bookstore, and Annie is a photographer. These are people who, if you know the locale, could be easily observed and recognized every day on the streets and, if you were lucky, in the backyards of their Elizabeth Warren neighborhood (the reader almost expects her to pop in at one of their many parties). Graham is a self-described fat man with a hearty laugh, a sumptuous beard, and is a beloved, iconic local legend to his piles of friends and admirers. He revels in his status in this rarefied world, and they seem to be one of those perfect couples (or trios, with Freida as the best friend to both). All’s well until Graham begins and ends an affair within their friend group before he dying of a heart attack in bed. Annie finds that the discovery of his betrayal (she stumbles upon the girlfriend loudly weeping in Graham's study during the post-death gathering) destroys, at least temporarily, her memories of their bliss, as mourning becomes electric and grief begets rage. Annie’s unexpected encounter with a former almost-lover enables a brilliant conclusion, creatively executed while avoiding the cliched possibilities. Graham's inner thoughts are occasionally revealed, as are those of their children (the son with Freida and a daughter with Annie), and his seems to be the larger and more intensely lived life. Perhaps there should be another novel, as Evan S. Connell did with his two mirrored novels, Mr. Bridge and Mrs. Bridge. Residents of Cambridge will feel quite at home, as the author plies her craft movingly in her very own backyard.Quotes: “One of the things Graham loves about having lived in the same place for so long is the layers of time you’re always moving through.”“She was understanding, for the first time, how confined his life was. Confined by the small size of his ambitions, and by his actual enjoyment of all his familiar, repetitive routines. And that meant her life was confined too. The fears she’d overcome to be with him, the fears of being eaten by him, absorbed by him, by his appetites, seemed suddenly confirmed.”
    • 4/5
      This novel looks at marriage, commitment and death. Annie and Graham are married and she is a photographer and he owns a bookstore. He was married before and has a son to his first wife. Annie and Graham have a daughter. The central event in the book is Graham's death in his sleep. Many new characters and relationships emerge after his death. The people we thought we new at the beginning of novel change before our eyes.
    • 3/5
      Maybe the subject of this novel hit too close to home. I found the characters familiar, but I kept wishing that Annie was less of a victim. I also wanted the adult children to be better developed.
    • 5/5
      Sue Miller’s latest entry into fiction is Monogamy. Graham and Annie have been married for thirty years, a second marriage for each. Graham owns a bookstore in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and Annie is a photographer, currently working on a show in a local gallery that she hopes will revitalize her career. They met years ago when Annie attended the grand opening party of Graham’s store. Annie married young and divorced her husband after six years. Graham’s wife Frieda left him because, although she agreed to the idea of an open marriage, the reality of living it devastated her.Graham and Frieda remained friendly, coparenting their son Lucas, now working in publishing in New York. Frieda and Annie became friends too, and Frieda is always a part of their family celebrations. Annie and Graham’s adult daughter Sarah lives on the west coast.Graham was a big man, taking up a lot of space. He was always the life of any party, gregarious, making everyone feel important. Annie was quieter, some people may have even thought her a bit cold. Her career as a photographer, seeing life through the lens of a camera, suited her personality. They have a happy marriage, enjoy each other’s company, share in each other’s successes.On the eve of Annie’s big show, she wakes up to find Graham dead in bed next to her. We watch as Annie has to deal with the multitude of things that need to be taken care of, as well as her own grief.At a memorial service for Graham, Annie discovers that he had been unfaithful to her. This guts her, and causes her to reassess her entire marriage to Graham. Why did this happen? Was he incapable of fidelity?Miller deftly explores the history of a marriage and loss, and the reader becomes completely absorbed in the emotional aftermath of Graham’s death. We see Annie and Graham through the eyes of their daughter who says “My mother is always okay. That is the division of labor in my family. My mother holds it all in, my father lets it out.” Monogamy is a quiet book, with characters who are so well drawn we feel as though we know them. Sue Miller is at the top of her game with this beautifully written story.
    • 5/5
      I felt like Sue Miller was talking directly to me in this book about marriage. Although I haven’t experienced the unfaithfulness in the story, which makes the title ironic. Her second marriage to Graham and their romantic side as well as their close friendship rings true for someone who has been married a long time. I, too, am friends with my husband’s first wife. Although, my husband has not died, I am grieving his loss as he slowly disappears to dementia. I loved the reflections of the grown children as they seek love and careers just as their parents did. They add to the richness of the story and help fill in the dimensions of Annie, as she tells her story of marriage to Graham. I listened to the audio version as I lay in bed. The tranquil voice, the story in which I had so much in common with Annie, the sorrow at loss I identified. And although, my husband didn’t have an affair, the f*cking demon, Dementia, has stolen my husband just as unfaithfulness seemed to steal Graham from Annie. I imagine that people’s response to this book will depend on their age and their life experiences. For older readers, Miller’s ability to capture the internal lives of the characters will resonate.
    • 4/5
      This book, entitled Monogamy, sounded like it would have lots of drama and action when Annie discovers her husband had an affair. However, the book was more a slow, drawn out character analysis. It was very well written but to me it went on and one, repeating Annie's anguish and confusion after the course of years.The story begins with Annie and Graham, who have been married for nearly 30 years. Graham unexpectedly dies and Annie eventually discovers he had a brief affair. Graham regretted the affair and loved Annie immensely. A good read about family, love and marriage but in my opinion it was a bit too slow. I received a complimentary book as part of the Goodreads Giveaway program.
    • 4/5
      Seeing into the heart of families, reflected in her amazing character portrayals are all apparent in this insightful and quiet novel. Marriages, motherhood, friendships and grief. Finding out at the end of a person's life, that they had perhaps not been the person you thought they were. Love, how much did it matter? Do we ever truly know how deep inside a person feels or thinks? Possibly not.Annie, Graham, their wonderful bookshop all seem so very real. I actually felt at times that I could run across the street and knock on Annie's door, asking to borrow a bottle of wine. Miller made these characters that authentic. She makes each of them, regardless of their actions, understandable, relatable. I also loved how the characters changed throughout the book, some growing, some sorting things out but all reaching toward a time when life will again make sense. Sort of like we are now, but of course different reasons. A terrific read with slot of insight and heart.My monthly read with my two book buddies, Esil and Angela, which are always special.ARcC from Edelweiss.
    • 5/5
      Monogamy by Sue MillerPublished by HarperSeptember 8, 2020Reviewed by: mrsboone4 and mrsboone1Green Forest, Arkansas, USAMy rating: 5 StarsAnnie and Graham have been married to each other for several decades. They were both previously married to other people, Graham is still friends with his ex-wife and he has a son, Lucas from that relationship. Annie has nothing to do with her ex-husband. Annie and Graham have an adult daughter, Sarah, together. Sarah and Lucas are friends.Graham had an open marriage with Freida, Lucas' mom. Freida liked it a little at first, and less and less as time went on. Graham loved the open marriage and always, always had affairs in the open and also hidden affairs.Graham owns a bookstore, he frequently hosts parties for authors and he and Sarah entertain all the time. Sarah isn't aware of the open marriage that Graham and Freida had. She isn't aware of Graham's infidelities with her.One day, Graham dies, Sarah finds she doesn't want to live without her beloved Graham. Slowly she finds out about his infidelities and since she is friends with Freida, she finds out that Freida knew that Graham was cheating on her, but did not tell her. Sarah is very hurt but it.Sarah finds that she must pickup the broken pieces of her life and get on with living. Her wonderful life was mostly just lies, after all. A book that a lot of people unfortunately might have things in common with. It is entertaining.This is a paperback book, green with copper colored leaves all over it, the leaves are a type of foil, so it looks and feels very nice in your hands. The cover has built in flaps that have an overview of the book and author information.I received a complimentary copy from the publisher and was under no obligation to post a review.