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    The Unnoticeables: A Novel
    The Unnoticeables: A Novel
    The Unnoticeables: A Novel
    Audiobook7 hours

    The Unnoticeables: A Novel

    Written by Robert Brockway

    Narrated by Nick Podehl, Emily Foster and Scott Merriman

    4/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    From Robert Brockway, Sr. Editor and Columnist of Cracked.com, comes The Unnoticeables, a funny and frightening urban fantasy.

    There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving. But they do watch over us. They watch our lives unfold, analyzing us for repeating patterns and redundancies. When they find them, the angels simplify those patterns and remove the redundancies, and the problem that is “you” gets solved.

    Carey doesn’t much like that idea. As a punk living in New York City, 1977, Carey is sick and tired of watching strange kids with unnoticeable faces abduct his friends. He doesn’t care about the rumors of tar-monsters in the sewers or unkillable psychopaths invading the punk scene—all he wants is to drink cheap beer and dispense ass-kickings.

    Kaitlyn isn’t sure what she’s doing with her life. She came to Hollywood in 2013 to be a stunt woman, but last night a former teen heartthrob tried to eat her, her best friend has just gone missing, and there’s an angel outside her apartment. Whatever she plans on doing with her life, it should probably happen in the few remaining minutes she has left.

    There are angels. There are demons. They are the same thing. It’s up to Carey and Kaitlyn to stop them. The survival of the human race is in their hands.

    We are, all of us, well and truly screwed.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBrilliance Audio
    Release dateJul 7, 2015
    ISBN9781491530849
    The Unnoticeables: A Novel
    Author

    Robert Brockway

    ROBERT BROCKWAY is a Senior Editor and columnist for Cracked.com. He lives in Portland, Oregon, with his wife Meagan and their two dogs, Detectives Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh. When not penning books like The Vicious Circle Novels (The Unnoticeables, The Empty Ones, and Kill All Angels), he has been known, on occasion, to have a beard.

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    Reviews for The Unnoticeables

    4/5

    105 ratings7 reviews

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    • 5/5
      I absolutely love all 3 of the novels in this series . The concept is great, but could have resulted in a story far less enjoyable and engrossing if attempted by a less talented writer. Robert Brockway uses his clearly brilliant sense of humor and wit to create characters and situations that allow hilarity to ensue.

      Carey has secured a place near the top of my list of all time favorite fictional characters and the actor reading his part made me love him even more. In fact, I wish I could adequately convey just how funny the dialogue and interactions between the characters are without getting specific and making spoiler alerts necessary.

      All I can say is that they had me literally laughing out loud whether I was alone or listening with my husband. If you enjoy crass, crude, politically incorrect dark humor, this series is a can't miss choice for you. If you don't, you'll likely be offended. However, most people devoid of a healthy sense of humor tend to live for the moments they are able to find a reason to take offense, regardless of whether that reason is reasonable or completely irrational.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      Very entertaining. Enjoyed it immensely. Colorful language added to the story
    • 3/5
      Great concept, but very confronting in parts. Plenty of creepy sex and violence, but the story does seem to warrant it.
      Have started listening to the Empty Ones, which is the next in the series...why am I listening to exactly the same story?? Very confusing and a bit lazy.
      Otherwise, it's worth a listen
    • 5/5
      Very interesting storyline! I love the characters and they have great development throughout the book. The narrators are amazing, especially a Nick Podehl who is one of my favorite narrators, but Emily Foster did a superb job with this and I will be looking into her other works as well!
    • 1/5
      Great plot idea but the constant sex talk and horniness of the main character was unbearable. I kept waiting for it to get better, it didn’t. It’s almost as if this was written by a teenage boy who discovered his first nudie mag and couldn’t stop thinking about boobies. Not at all what I expected and a disappointing read. I will say the author made great use of analogies though.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      I had a lot of fun with this one. Likely due to all the low-class humour that runs right up my alley. But then again, what do you expect from late-70s NY punks, hyper-intelligent homeless people, and out-of-work California stuntwoman who tends bar on her downtime?

      There's an awful lot packed between these covers, with several different species of monster villains, but there's also a rich cast of characters that, while occasionally a little too similar, are also just kind of fun to be around.

      I think what make this one more fun for me was the fact that Carey, the main character, is damn near a doppelganger of a really good friend of mine. Definitely pushing this series his way.
    • 5/5
      Angels aren't beautiful creatures of benevolence. They watch over us, but look for patterns and redundancies instead of protecting us. They eliminate the superfluous people to feed the Machine. Carey in 1977 New York and Kaitlyn in 2013 Hollywood both encounter these angels and their inhuman minions. Both just want to live their generally unsuccessful lives and have friends disappear around them. Both want to do something about it and try to despite crazy odds against them. Can two nobodies save their friends and other invisible people from being changed into empty puppets or flat out killed?From the very first line ("I met my guardian angel today. She shot me in the face."), I was hooked. The story is split into three narratives: an unnamed narrator at an unknown time, Carey in 1977, and Kaitlyn in 2013. The unnamed narrator (the one shot by said angel) is rapidly losing his humanity and wants to tell his story. Carey is a punk whose interests are limited to punk rock, drinking, smoking, fucking, and stealing to get what he wants. He and his friends frequent clubs, create a bit of mayhem, and have fun. You see some pretty weird shit in New York, but Tar Men that melt people to goo is usually not one of them. He stays quiet because no one will believe him anyway, but when his close friends are targeted, he makes beating these creatures his personal crusade. However, Carey is a professional fuck-up, so his attempts are laughably bumbling at best and horribly inept at worse. I love his irreverence and self aware nature. He knows he's an asshole and most of the things he says are horrible, but that's just who he is. He's the most unlikely hero, but he has the best intentions at heart along with the drive to get drunk as cheap as possible and chase women.The last narrator is Kaitlyn, waitress and out of work stuntwoman. She loves her work in movies, but she just sucks at networking, a vital trait to stay employed. Her best friend Jackie doesn't come home from an industry party after Kaitlyn is attacked by her childhood celebrity crush. Unfortunately, that crush talks in prerehearsed, mechanical sounding phrases and there's something off about him in addition to the huge alien tongue he shoved down her throat. This man is an Empty One who creates Unnoticeables, people who you can't describe even while looking at them. They blend in perfectly and lure people away in order to further fuel the mysterious Machine. Kaitlyn uses her background and cunning to save her fellow aspiring actors. She also has the bumbling help of a much older, crazier sounding Carey. He is pretty much the same, except closer to babbling homeless guy than sexy rugged punk. Both of them are considered expendable to these angels, but they couldn't be more different. This odd couple is hilarious to read and have some of the most fun interactions. The Unnoticeables is a fun mix of urban fantasy and horror with vivid underground worlds in New York and Hollywood. I would love a sequel with more of Carey and Kaitlyn's adventures, exploring more of these underground, hiding in plain sight but no one sees it worlds. Carey is extremely entertaining to read while Kaitlyn is the more relatable one trying to make ends meet and being shunned from jobs despite being quite qualified. I would recommend this to fans of Richard Kadrey and Clive Barker.