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    It Ended Badly: Thirteen of the Worst Breakups in History
    It Ended Badly: Thirteen of the Worst Breakups in History
    It Ended Badly: Thirteen of the Worst Breakups in History
    Audiobook8 hours

    It Ended Badly: Thirteen of the Worst Breakups in History

    Written by Jennifer Wright

    Narrated by Hillary Huber

    4/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    It Ended Badly: Thirteen of the Worst Breakups in History is a history of heartbreak-replete with beheadings, uprisings, creepy sex dolls, and celebrity gossip-and its disastrously bad consequences throughout time

    Spanning eras and cultures from ancient Rome to medieval England to 1950s Hollywood, Jennifer Wright's It Ended Badly guides you through the worst of the worst in historically bad breakups. In the throes of heartbreak, Emperor Nero had just about everyone he ever loved-from his old tutor to most of his friends-put to death. Oscar Wilde's lover, whom he went to jail for, abandoned him when faced with being cut off financially from his wealthy family and wrote several self-serving books denying the entire affair. And poor volatile Caroline Lamb sent Lord Byron one hell of a torch letter and enclosed a bloody lock of her own pubic hair. Your obsessive social media stalking of your ex isn't looking so bad now, is it?
    With a wry wit and considerable empathy, Wright digs deep into the archives to bring these thirteen terrible breakups to life. She educates, entertains, and really puts your own bad breakup conduct into perspective. It Ended Badly is for anyone who's ever loved and lost and maybe sent one too many ill-considered late-night emails to their ex, reminding us that no matter how badly we've behaved, no one is as bad as Henry VIII.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMacmillan Audio
    Release dateNov 3, 2015
    ISBN9781427265210
    It Ended Badly: Thirteen of the Worst Breakups in History
    Author

    Jennifer Wright

    Jennifer Wright is the author of six pop history books, most recently Madame Restell: The Life, Death, and Resurrection of Old New York's Most Fabulous, Fearless, and Infamous Abortionist. She has written for the New York Times, the New York Post and the New York Observer. Despite that, she lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Daniel Kibblesmith, and daughter. Her break-up days are hopefully behind her, but she would still split a pint of ice cream with you.

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    Reviews for It Ended Badly

    4/5

    106 ratings25 reviews

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    • 5/5
      A hilarious look at the thin line between love and hate. I laughed out loud so many times during the course of the book. Ms. Wright has a fantastic, down-to-earth storytelling style that draws you in from the first. Definitely recommend.
    • 2/5
      A slapdash, cutesy trip through some bad historical breakups, interspersed with some very cliched relationship advice. If you don't take history seriously in the slightest and in fact, don't know any history, you might enjoy some of the jokes. The book would be greatly improved as brainless light reading by the deletion of all of the parenthetical asides, which are consistently unfunny. I did learn some things of interest about Lord Alfred Douglas and Lucrezia Borgia, so I'm giving it a star. They may even be true, so I'm giving it two.
    • 4/5
      I received this book as an Advanced Readers Copy (ARC) through the LibraryThing Early Reviewers program.This book is LOL, giggle-snort funny. I cackled, I giggled, and I read passages aloud to my poor husband. The writing style is a little manic, but then, so much writing is these days; it's the style of the times. It's a fun, light book for when you want to just and have a good time reading about other people's romantic misery. The book is neither history nor biography, and so both subjects suffer. It's a tongue-in-cheek look at relationships through time. It's also quite short, and so it necessarily paints broad strokes over complex topics. "It Ended Badly" is not for history majors or anyone looking for detailed information. Don't quote it on your term papers, kids, and do take it with a grain of salt. (For example, Henry VIII may not have loved his first wife, but there is evidence that he liked and respected her. He continued writing to her until her death; not unlike Richard Burton with Liz Taylor, apparently.)There is one glaring issue with the book, and it may just be because my copy is an ARC. OMFG, THE TYPOS. Mostly, they seem to be the injudicious use of spell check, because while I only noticed 1 misspelling ("straihtjacket"), I found at least a dozen examples of odd word choices. For example, "When the news brake about the attacks on the turn towers of the World Trade Center's...." (pg 225). Other examples including called Edith Wharton a "bake" instead of a babe, and asking how "not" Henry VIII was, in a paragraph referring to his hotness. I wouldn't recommend this to history majors or compulsive fact checkers, but I might hand it over to a friend who's had a bad breakup (maybe not immediately; I'd wait until he/she was out of the initial crazy-grief stage and into sad acceptance first). I'd give it to somebody who needed a good laugh, but not to anyone who needed a reliable source for school. I definitely wouldn't hand the ARC version to grammar nerd.
    • 3/5
      Funny, quick read. Good book to leave out on the coffee table etc to grab and check out a chapter or two. Doesn't need to be read straight through. Good details, not too wordy.
    • 5/5
      I freaking LOVED this book. I loved it soo much that I actually plan on buying it, which from me is HIGH PRAISE! This book was just what I needed to prepare myself for being single on Valentine's Day again. This book was laugh out loud funny and should be required reading for fans of history, romance, and literature. Author, Jennifer Wright, finds the thirteen worst breakups in history to make you feel better about your love life. From ancient Rome to the 1050's Jennifer has got you covered. Her tone is very conversational, enlightening, and freaking hilarious. I want the author to come over to my house to drink boxed wine and watch BBC shows. She's just that kind of gal, she brings witty humor to some truly awful stories and has a little something for everyone. If you have ever started snickering at happy couples on the street, read about Anna Ivanovna from Russia. If you have just sent your ex a very intense emotional e-mail, read about Caroline Lamb and Lord Byron. If you deserve an apology, read about Norman Mailor and Adele Morales Mailer. Seriously, this book was over the top informative and off the charts funny. From sex dolls, to dressing subjects as chickens and eggs, to stabbing your wife, to claim your a virgin while seven months pregnant, this book tells it all and you need to read it. So far my favorite book of 2016.
    • 1/5
      From the title and description I was expecting light summer reading or history lite. It Ended Badly is a fairly quick read—which is a good thing.Wright devotes a chapter to each of the thirteen couples, some better known than others, but she spends most of her time heaping scorn on one of the partners. Frankly, I am more than a little surprised she managed to resist the temptation to include Charles and Diana—maybe she couldn't choose a side. The first chapter is all about Nero who was "a terrible human being,” "a monster,” "a deranged fiend.” There is a brief mention of his beloved (at least until he killed her) Poppaea—who resembled Christina Hendricks (according to Wright anyway). This is how Wright sees the situation: “If these murders showed up in an episode of Law and Order, you would initially guess that Nero definitely did not commit the crime because he had no motive. (Nero would be played by a celebrity guest to help viewers suspect the he did kill them all.)”Wright employs a flippant writing style with a lot of pop culture references. She compares Eleanor of Aquitaine to Rihanna and her first husband Louis VII “wasn’t smart, but he was nice and had a delightful beard, and that’s almost as good.” Her description of Eleanor of Aquitaine’s rival Rosamond Clifford is just inane: “Maybe [Eleanor’s second husband] Henry loved her because she was a pleasant, retiring blossom, or maybe he loved her because she could burp the alphabet. Maybe he loved her because she had webbed toes and he was into that. We have no idea!” Wright goes on to say Rosamond may have died of a very slow acting poison “(according to my make-believe sources)”. In other words, don’t believe anything in this book.The stories are light on facts and give few details about the couples or their breakups. A lot of it is just trash talk. A bibliography gives a general idea of her sources (nothing is footnoted so there is no telling where any of the “facts” or quotations come from). Several novelists (always a good reference source) are also included. Wright even quotes one of the most salacious (and false) parts of William Manchester’s execrable A World Lit Only by Fire. Then there is this enlightening tidbit: “Wikipedia entries were accessed for information on people, places and things.” (How very specific.) Indeed, several passages almost appear to be taken verbatim from Wikipedia. There are black and white illustrations of paintings and photographs but no list of sources or copyright permissions. Perhaps this information will be included in the finished book.It Ended Badly fails as history. It doesn't work as comedy either: e.g. Hemingway is rude like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Raphael. Instead, it reads more like a cross of Mad Magazine and so-called reality TV. Wright apparently thinks she is hilarious or, at the very least, clever and amusing—she is not. This claptrap might appeal to young teens who would recognize the teen idol names and enjoy the snark but have no idea who any of these historic personages are or why they were famous. I suppose this could be a beach read—but only as a last resort.
    • 5/5
      This was good! I wasn't sure at the start, because it's pretty clear the author geared her narrative towards women (or men, but really, women) who were battling their way through breakups while reading this book. But it's easy to get past that and just enjoy the history and the wry humour. And omg were these people awful. You expect Nero to be horrible, but - and maybe it's just my general ignorance of Roman history, but not this weirdly horrible. And Oskar Kokoschka... holy cheese whiz weird, although I think I found it even more bizarre that everybody let him get away with his flavour of weird without seemingly batting an eye. By the time you get to Norman Mailer, his horribleness almost seems bland by comparison. Almost. This is popular history in its purest form, but it's lively and entertaining while it's being informative. The source list at the end is a little web-link heavy for my taste, but I'm going with it; I learned a lot and little of it had to do with how these people broke up with their exes. I have this in print, but borrowed the audio from the library and while I was a bit hesitant about the narrator at the beginning, I soon changed my mind. Hillary Huber's performance starts off sounding a bit monotone, but I soon found it works really well with Wright's wry humour and occasional sass. I particularly enjoyed her narration in the car as it was both calming and often hilarious. I definitely recommend this (in audio or print) if you're looking for light, breezy and educational. Book themes for Kwanzaa: Read a book whose cover is primarily red, green or black.
    • 4/5
      Pop history at its best. Laugh out loud funny and well-sourced. This is possibly the best gift you could give to a heartbroken friend or any slightly twisted history buff you happen to love.I received a complimentary copy of this book via a Goodreads giveaway. Many thanks to all involved in providing me with this opportunity.
    • 5/5
      I loved this book ! It had everything in it that I find appealing, social history/biography and some snarky humor thrown in. You get to learn a lot about some famous couple and their miserable relationships and ultimate break ups, get a great laugh and she contrasts their breakups with the readers. Most of us have at least one horror break up story, in my case about 10x that amount.

      A great fun read. A
    • 4/5
      If you've ever had a really, really bad break up you will have a lot more empathy for the unfortunate historical folks in It Ended Badly. If your love life has been perfect then maybe not so much, because you simply won't get that even for smart people things can go completely off the rails. Love scrambles the brains of both high and low. This is a series of essays addressing the dysfunctional romances of such luminaries as Henry VIII, to Wilde, to Mailer and many more. You can be smugly satisfied that even though yours might have been bad, somebody else had it worse.
    • 2/5
      This was a LibraryThing giveaway. There's a lot of information in this book about breakups that were less than civil and I can appreciate infusing a book with humor and wit, but there's such a thing as too much of a good thing and the humor falls into that category. I found it very hard to take the couples and their breakups seriously even though some ended tragically, as in the case of Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard, who I'm sure weren't amused to find themselves in the position they did. Nothing like your uncle pushing you in front of a king and then pronouncing sentence on you when you've displeased said king. A bit less levity would have gone a long ways
    • 5/5
      It Ended Badly by Jennifer Wright is a hilarious yet historically accurate account of thirteen of the worst breakups in history. Very highly recommended! One of the best, most notable, books of the year!

      Did I mention that each of these memorable, irreverent essays is side-splitting-laugh-out-loud-funny and yet still presents all the historical facts surrounding the breakups? True. Not only are you guaranteed mirth and laughter with each breakup story you are also going to learn a plethora of facts along the way. And it is extraordinarily well written! Educational, well written, and funny: a wonderful combination!
      "It Ended Badly is for anyone who's ever loved and lost and maybe sent one too many ill-considered late-night emails to their ex, reminding us that no matter how badly we've behaved, no one is as bad as Henry VIII."

      Rather than explain the contents, look at the chapters for just a peek of the wonder that is It Ended Badly.

      Introduction
      1. If you have been replaced by a surprising choice Read about Nero and Poppaea
      2. If you are accomplished and independent and fierce Read about Eleanor of Aquitaine and Henry II
      3. If your family didn’t like your ex and thought you could do better Read about Lucrezia Borgia and Giovanni Sforza
      4. If you have ever made the same mistake twice Read about Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard
      5. If you have started snickering at happy couples on the street Read about Anna Ivanovna
      6. If you believe in ghosts (and love social media) Read about Timothy Dexter
      7. If you have just sent your ex a very intense emotional e-mail Read about Caroline Lamb and Lord Byron
      8. If there were body image issues Read about John Ruskin and Effie Gray
      9. If it was just a sad affair Read about Oscar Wilde and Lord Alfred Douglas
      10. If you were dumped Read about Edith Wharton and Morton Fullerton
      11. If you are struggling to find anyone as good as your ex Read about Oskar Kokoschka and Alma Mahler
      12. If you deserve an apology Read about Norman Mailer and Adele Morales Mailer
      13. If you want to believe it will all work out for the best in the end Read about Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher and Elizabeth Taylor
      Epilogue; Sources; Acknowledgments

      Disclosure: My Kindle edition was courtesy of Henry Holt & Company for review purposes.
    • 4/5
      Overall this book wasn't too bad. I had heard some of these stories before. Some of the parts of the book got a little wordy and much but it was something I could read in pieces and put back down.
    • 3/5
      This book was just okay for me. A bit of history, bit of laughs - but overall it was just okay. The nice part was you could read one story and go away from it for awhile (which is what I did) and come back to it. Good - not great.
    • 4/5
      The author made this such a fun and interesting way to learn a bit of history. Her sarcastic comments and amusing anecdotes made this a pure joy to read. She reminds me of my sophomore history teacher whose way of teaching made me fall forever in love with all things historical.Of course many of these breakups were beyond nasty, none more so than the less than delightful, Henry the Eighth. Still there were some strange characters from many areas in Europe that were weirder than weird. Also learned many interesting tidbits, such as the phrase, Keeping up with the Jones, which referenced Edith Wharton's father who was beyond wealthy as was Edith herself. Some may find some of the comments over the top but if you just go with the flow I think you will find much amusing but informative as well.
    • 5/5
      I received an Arc from LibraryThing and was not quite sure what to expect as books on history can be dense or dull. This was none of that. Jennifer Wright is hilarious, down to earth, and really helps to make these stories relate to current every day life while keeping them historically accurate. She's sympathetic to victims, has an opinion, takes a side, and makes you laugh. I'm going to buy this for all of my heartbroken friends.
    • 4/5
      Thirteen chapters, each for a couple who should have never met. Eleanor and Henry II, Henry VIII and both Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard, Lord Byron and Caroline Lamb, Elizabeth Taylor and Eddie Fisher, these relationships caused anger, hatred and scandal, yet make for funny, fascinating reading. The most entertaining case has to be that of 18th Century businessman Timothy Dexter, who began telling people his wife was a ghost because he didn't want to be married to her anymore.
    • 3/5
      The history is interesting, the writing not so much. It Ended Badly reads more like a series of blog posts - complete with proofreading errors - than a book. I'm usually a fan of history and humor, but after a while, Wright's observations and references became more trite than amusing and I skipped over them. Maybe this book is comparable to tub ice cream after break-up, but instead of getting a Ben & Jerry's masterpiece, you settled for store-brand. It gets the job done, but could be better.
    • 3/5
      A catchy title and thirteen relationships that didn't work out makes this book readable from the onset. Relationships can certainly be one of the most tricky endeavors we take on in life and Jennifer Wright explores these intricacies and mishaps in detail. One of the interesting side aspects of the book is we get to learn about lives of people we may or may not have heard of as well as a journey through history in the process. Wright gives her takes and commentary throughout and at times her cuteness or attempt at humor can be annoying. Yet on balance she does uncover quite a lot to chew on when we think about the intentions and emotions going on with these people. One thing for sure is the apparent craziness that many individuals possess in spades. Love certainly is not nearly a rational undertaking is the ultimate lesson, but not risking is not really living either and that is why need to.
    • 5/5
      “It Ended Badly : 13 of the Worst Breakups in History” was a great end of summer read. I recommend this book for anyone who has ever been in love, ever broken up, history buffs, pop media buffs, or anyone looking for a fun, interesting, easy read.Jennifer Wright brings us, in a very entertaining and humorous style, 13 of the most brilliant love flameouts you’ve never heard of, ever heard of, or wondered about. She covers romantic fizzles of antiquity (Nero); royalty (Eleanor of Aquitaine, Henry VIII); and European history (Lucrezia Borgia). The arts are represented by literature (Lord Byron, Oscar Wilde, Edith Wharton, Norman Mailer); music (Alma Mahler); and film (Debbie Reynolds / Eddie Fisher / Elizabeth Taylor).I found this book to chock full of interesting tid- bits about the various famous persons of each chapter, and often laughed aloud at Ms. Wright’s own impressions and comments.All in all – a very interesting book!
    • 2/5
      13 of the Worst Breakups in History cover famous falling outs from the Roman Empire to old Hollywood. Famous lovers, such as Henry VII and two of his wives along with the less famous are covered. The stories themselves offer a fascinating glimpse into the lives of the people involved. However the author's personality overshadows the entire book. In fact the author inserts her own point of view and general random thoughts so much, that the books starts to resemble an overlong blog post. Unfortunately this does nothing to add to the stories, which is what readers are actually interested in. The book ends up being overshadowed by the author's ramblings. Perhaps if she needed to reach a certain word count she could have just included two more stories and called the book, 15 of the Worst Breakups in History.
    • 4/5
      The perfect light reading for a historian/literature enthusiast. I brought this with me to read on vacation and it fit perfectly with the relaxed atmosphere. I enjoyed the chatty, speaking to the reader voice of Wright and the pop-culture references, while very specific to a specific era and type, were spot on for me, adding to my enjoyment and making the book read like a conversation I have had with friends over drinks.
    • 2/5
      In this breezy, superficial collection, Jennifer Wright retells thirteen historic tales of bad relationships and broken hearts, with an eye toward comforting the lovelorn man or (more likely) woman of today. She tries very hard to come across as the reader's witty new best friend, a conceit that grows tiresome after the first few pages. She's not shy about expressing her snarky opinions regarding the individuals and events she describes, a habit that likewise grows tiresome. Pop-culture references abound, which means that in a few years this book will be hopelessly out of date.In short, I am not sure who would enjoy this book. The narratives are mildly interesting, but the tone is almost aggressively annoying. Even the broken-hearted can skip this one.
    • 2/5
      A slapdash, cutesy trip through some bad historical breakups, interspersed with some very cliched relationship advice. If you don't take history seriously in the slightest and in fact, don't know any history, you might enjoy some of the jokes. The book would be greatly improved as brainless light reading by the deletion of all of the parenthetical asides, which are consistently unfunny. I did learn some things of interest about Lord Alfred Douglas and Lucrezia Borgia, so I'm giving it a star. They may even be true, so I'm giving it two.
    • 4/5
      4 StarsI was lucky enough to receive this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for my fair and honest review.Being a fan of history, I was immediately interested in this book. How do you pick just thirteen from mankind’s rich history of ugly and sometimes bloody romantic breakups? Not only that, but how do you take what can be some very dry historical texts, letters and the like and make this book interesting for readers of the 21st century? I think the author has done a very fine job of it. The stories she has chosen are definitely breakups gone bad. While many familiar to both history buffs and the general public alike, some are probably completely unknown to anyone who doesn’t have either a big interest in history or some kind of degree in historical tragedies! I will preface this review with two caveats. If you are not interested in historical figures and learning more than what you can see in a history book, you might want to give this one a pass. If you are a history buff and prefer dry commentary with lots of footnotes and bullet points, you will want to give this one a pass.The author takes very well researched material and gives it a contemporary voice. She has included the text from the subjects actual letters, court transcript and other historical sources and makes it relevant. She makes fun of them and their times, just like many of us would. There is a lot of tongue in cheek satire and plenty of laughs. More than once I found myself laughing out loud at some of the imagery that her writing induced. She goes so far as to say that some of the information she’s giving you will help you with obscure trivia shows and maybe a history category on Jeopardy!I was familiar with many of the stories, especially Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn. I think they are probably one of the most studied and written about couple in history. There are countless books, movies and TV shows about them. But the author still managed to make this material seem fresh even after nearly 500 years of writing about them. Some of the stories I was either less familiar with or hadn’t heard of them at all and probably never would have known that these people existed if it hadn’t been for this book and now I’m wanting to go read more about them and their nasty breakups!Read about Emperor Nero and Poppaea and her surprising replacement. Eleanor of Aquitaine and Henry II, an example of an incredibly strong and influential woman in an era when women didn’t have a voice. Lucrezia Borgia, daughter of a pope, who had a family that believed she deserved better and staged the annulment of the millennium. Henry VIII and not only Anne Boleyn, but also Catherine Howard, both women lost their heads over Henry. Lord Byron, Oscar Wilde, Edith Wharton, Norman Mailer and the list goes on. The author stopped at thirteen of these stories of heartbreak and love gone wrong. I wished for more!If you like history with a twist, told by a voice with a touch of sarcasm, cynicism and a lot of wit…I think you’ll really enjoy this book. The only reason that this book lost a star was because the sarcasm and author commentary became a bit heavy handed at times. Instead of lending to the stories, it either didn’t mesh well or it took away from the authenticity of the story being told. That being said, the book flowed very well and I believe it was in chronological order, so that was nice for OCD people like me! Overall, I really did enjoy this book and will recommend it to all my friends who sit and watch I, Claudius with a bucket of Ben And Jerry’s (Caramel Sutra for me!) ice cream in their lap.