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    Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story
    Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story
    Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story
    Audiobook9 hours

    Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story

    Written by Christopher Moore

    Narrated by Susan Bennett

    4/5

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    About this audiobook

    Christopher Moore is a New York Times best-selling author whose offbeat novels combine comedy and the supernatural. A striking red-head, 20-something Jody is attacked and transformed into a vampire while walking home one night in downtown San Francisco. Befriending 19-year-old Tommy, Jody tries to understand her new undead life, but trouble finds her when the cops start suspecting Tommy of being a local bloodsucking serial killer.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherRecorded Books, Inc.
    Release dateSep 12, 2008
    ISBN9781436147620
    Author

    Christopher Moore

    Christopher Moore is the author of seventeen previous novels, including Shakespeare for Squirrels, Noir, Secondhand Souls, Sacré Bleu, Fool, and Lamb. He lives in San Francisco, California.

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    Reviews for Bloodsucking Fiends

    4/5

    1,756 ratings117 reviews

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    • 5/5
      Great author. I would recommend any of Christopher Moore’s books. Very funny, very original. Great read, check it out ?
    • 1/5
      I loved the book and I am a huge fan or Moore. However, the audio recording for this book needs some TLC. It cut out and skipped over parts frequently and jumped from chapter to chapter. I still don’t know how it ends because it ended the recording mid sentence in the final chapter. I have never before had an issue with Scribd or this app so I assume it is just the recording that needs some attention.
    • 5/5
      First in Moore's Vampire trilogy. This is where we meet all of the characters, Jody who is turned into a vampire at the start of the book who now finds herself a powerful young woman as opposed to her dead end office job in San Francisco. C. Thomas Flood who has left Indiana to go to California to be a writer. The Animals from the grocery store. Was nice to finally see the beginning of all of the characters as I had read book 2 and three in the series prior to happening upon this one. Really do like the story and the characters are set up and make much more sense to me now that I have learned of their beginings.
    • 4/5
      This book is a fun read. I love the premise. I think the language is witty. The ending wasn't very satisfying for me, but overall, I enjoyed the work.
    • 2/5
      Having read and enjoyed Lamb and A Dirty Job, I was disappointed by this one. The humor was at times too obvious -- I was occasionally pulled out of the narrative with the feeling that the author was winking at his readers instead of telling a story. The plot moved along at a good clip but came to an unsatisfying, too-easy resolution. The "bad guy" was an incomplete picture, someone whose motives and goals were never clear to me. And yet, despite these complaints, it was a fun read and easy to breeze through in a short time. I laughed out loud once or twice. I'm glad I read Bloodsucking Fiends, but I hope that the next Christopher Moore book I read is a better example of his work!
    • 1/5
      I'VE NOTICED THAT EVERY BOOK I WANT TO READ IS NOT AVAILABLE TO ME on scribd..mostly I get the free books which I could read on a public forum anyway.

      WHY DO I PAY FOR A SERVICE THAT DISCRIMINATES ITS CUSTOMERS BASED ON THE COUNTRY THEY CURRENTLY LIVE IN?

      FIX IT scribd.

    • 2/5
      i couldn't really get into this one - one a huge enough fan of vampire lore, i suppose.
    • 4/5
      Jody wakes up one evening, under a dumpster, with a burnt hand, and an awful lot of money. It takes a bit of figuring out but she soon concludes that she is a vampire. She also realizes quick quickly that she is going to need a human to watch over her when she loses consciousness at daybreak and to help her need for blood. She meets C. Thomas Flood, writer by nature, night crew manager in reality. Jody finds him attractive, pleasant and his hours are perfect so she convinces him to move in with her. Flood being new to the city figures why not. As Jody and Tommy explore what she can and can't do as a vampire they realize that the ancient vampire who turned her is out to kill them both.Classic Moore! Eccentric characters who are a joy to read about. Laugh out loud humour in parts and the rest of the book keeps a smile on your face as you chuckle under your breath. Loved the story, very unique, and a fun take off on all the vampire books out there. I was hooked from the beginning. This is the type of book that showcases Moore's talents and would be a perfect one for first-timers to start with. A few years ago he wrote a sequel and I'll be reading that one next.
    • 4/5
      So funny and the narration was great! I loved it....on to book 2
    • 3/5
      Vampire story set in San Francisco. Would be writer C. Thomas Flood moves from the mid-west to San Fran to write. Instead, through the help of hobo & vampire hunter The Emporer, he takes a job on the night shift at Safeway leading a re-stocking crew of misfits called the Animals. Due to his schedule, newly turned vampire XX takes him as her boyfriend/gofer and they live together. Sleeping during the day and fucking at night. Funny scene when he stuffs her in a freezer to stop her from waking up only to have the police find her and arrest him for murder. When she awakes at the city morgue moments before the necropheliac mortician has his way, she gives him a heart attack. Good book, but could have been funnier.
    • 4/5
      This has got to be one of the funniest books I have read in ages. Christopher Moore sense of humor is the best!
    • 1/5
      I know this was written in 1995, but wow this is bad. I don't know if the author was trying to write this way on purpose to make a point, or a parody but it didn't work. It all came across as offensive, not witty. Characters are super flat and unsympathetic and not interesting at all. No chemistry in this 'love story' at all and barely any plot. The preview of the first chapters was interesting enough to take a chance, but it didn't carry through. I only made it to 42%.

      Don't bother, there are much funnier and better written books out there!
    • 5/5
      Another great story from Moore. He is fantastic at weaving different story lines together so they come out just right in the end.
    • 4/5
      Vampire romance for the literary fiction audience? The Tom Robbins of vampire romance? It was entertaining. I might read the second one.
    • 2/5
      I really didn't like this book. I couldn't find one character I didn't dislike, let alone that I liked (ok, exception for the Emperor, but that was a minor character), the story lacked a clear direction and the writing was misogynistic and crass. I read another book by Christopher Moore (Lamb), which I thought was okay, but I like vampire books, I thought: "I'll give it a try," but after this one I'll pass on reading more by this author.
    • 3/5
      Woman turned to vampire, seeks human helper and falls in love. In the meantime the vampire who created her is stalking SF and alarming Emperor Norton.
    • 5/5
      How in the hell have I not read this before? Such a fun read, and couldn't put it down. I think my favorite character would have to be the Emperor -- it took me well into the book to realize he was homeless. I mean, it's absurdist fiction. There are vampires -- why not an Emperor of San Francisco?
    • 4/5
      Really fun take on the whole non-sparkly vampire thing. Sometimes it almost feels like Mr. Moore is attempting to make some sort of social statement then he bronzes a live turtle and mocks himself. Definitely for adults, but a fun read.
    • 4/5
      Aspiring writer Tommy arrives in San Francisco to gain some life experience but needs a job to pay the rent. With help from the Emperor he is quickly set up as night manager at a Safeway and this is where he encounters Jody, a newly turned vampire. She’s going to need someone to do the daytime things that need doing seeing as sunlight has a deleterious effect on her complexion and Tommy seems an ideal candidate. Tommy’s never had a girlfriend before and the sex is great so he doesn’t even mind a bit of biting if that’s what she’s into. Problems start arising for the pair when bodies start turning up near to where they’re living that are drained of blood. Jody knows she hasn’t killed anyone yet so is the vampire who made her playing some sort of game with her?This is a fun, light-hearted take on the vampire mythos. I already know I like the author’s style having enjoyed several of his books previously and this one proves no exception. It was also good to run into a couple of familiar characters who help fill out the cast in this one. It’s a quick, fast-paced read and while the story is self-contained it still leaves it open enough for a sequel. I liked the characters and story enough to want to spend more time with them (though not immediately) and it’s a good job as I already have the other 2 books in the trilogy sitting on the tbr shelves already.
    • 5/5
      Like all Christopher Moore books, this was a great read. I love his humor and wit. I cannot wait to read his other books!
    • 4/5
      Moore writes funny and offbeat novels that tackle a subject and skewer it. This time its vampires. Jody is a twenty-six-year-old redhead who works in insurance and is walking to the bus stop late one night when she is turned into a vampire and left under a garbage dumpster with her hand sticking out. When she awakens at night, her hand is badly burnt, but beginning to heal, and she has $100,000 taped to her chest. She can see auras around people. Most people have a red aura around them, but those dying have a black one.She takes the bus back to the apartment she shares with a jerk Kirk who's a low-level trader in a firm in the financial district of San Francisco. Kirk, being less than sensitive doesn't ask about her hand or wonder if she's hurt but how it affects him. Now that's she's back he doesn't want to deal with her because he has to get up early in the morning for work. Jody picks up a planter and throws it at his head knocking him out then begins to feed on him, but just a little bit. After a short while, the holes in his neck disappear. She packs a bag of her stuff and leaves to check into a motel. She does realize though that she'll need a human companion to handle the daylight hours stuff. So she goes in search of one.Tommy is a nineteen-year-old guy just in from Indiana who wants to be a writer who, from the tip of the Emperor, the local bum who helps the city with his two dogs Bummer and Lazarus, takes the job as night manager of Marina Safeway. This job involves ordering and unloading stock. He works with the Animals: Simon McQueen who sees himself as a cowboy; Jeff Murray a has-been high school basketball star; Clint, a myopic born-again Christian; Drew, the pot supplier; Troy Lee, Kung Fu fighter; Gustavo, a large family man; Barry, a scuba diver; and Lash, who is studying business at San Francisco State. The guys like to turkey bowl with dish detergent bottles as pins. Tommy proves himself to be quite impressive in the sport and fits in very well with the gang.One night Jody is walking in their parking lot and Simon goes outside and makes a pest of himself hitting on her. Tommy goes out and sends Simon back inside and apologizes to her for his behavior. The two connect and she asks him to meet her the next night a half hour after sunset at Enrico's restaurant. At dinner she asks him to get an apartment with her, seeing as neither have one at the moment. It doesn't mean they have to have a sexual relationship or anything--at least not right off. She gives him money to look for an apartment and to get her car out of police impound where it was towed for illegal parking.He can't get her car out, but he finds the perfect loft with no windows in the bedroom or bathroom that has a large number of bookshelves for all of his books. He immediately takes it and shows it to her that night and they have sex and she bites him during sex a little bit which both enjoy. Then she tells him that she is a vampire and he seems to accept in stride but is determined to find out all about her powers since the man who turned her didn't tell her anything except to call her later and tell her that she isn't immortal and can be killed. He experiments with that by drowning her in the bathtub filled with ice and she survives that fine. But most of his vampire experiments are a failure and just drive her crazy as they are from works of fiction.The ancient vampire that made her is stalking her and killing people and leaving them near where she is staying. He left one at the motel she stayed at. He left one in front of the loft, but she grabbed it and put it in a deep freezer Tommy had delivered until they could figure out what to do with him. He had killed another man, a bum before he turned her. They have broken necks and are drained dry. He is toying with her to see how long she can last before she screws up and has to be killed along with her "pet", Tommy.Two detectives Rivera and Cavuto are on the case of who killed these people and drained the bodies. They are also investigating the redheaded ninja who beat up to a pulp three men at a laundromat. Cavuto is a tough, cigar smoking third generation gay cop who believes the rules don't apply while Riveria is a thoughtful, calmer cop who seems more open to believing the impossible might be at play here.This is a book that pokes fun at the vampire myth in a merry way. This book was written in 1995 at the time of AIDS so there are people in it with the disease. It was also written just when California passed the law making it illegal to smoke indoors so there's some commentary about that too. Will Jody ever kill someone? Can Jody and Tommy make their relationship work? There is a cashier at work who is interested in him and she is human and gets what its like to be human and do human things. At the same time, Jody is thinking the same thing about the ancient vampire. He gets her like no one else does and he has the answers she seeks. Jody is a character that can fly off the handle at a moment's notice and she takes the dominant role in the relationship. Poor Tommy seems to do whatever she says. But Tommy does have a backbone and he will use it, it will just be poor timing on his part when he does. This book is not as good as some of the other Christopher Moore books I've read such as Lamb, Noir, and The Stupidest Angel, but its still a Moore book and that means something. It's a book that will tickle your funny bone a great deal. I give it four out of five stars. QuotesHis writer’s mind kicked in and he thought, This woman could break my heart. I could crash and burn on this woman. I could lose this woman, drink heavily, write profound poems, and die in the gutter of tuberculosis over this woman.-Christopher Moore (Bloodsucking Fiends p 49)That’s not the point, Tommy. I might be immortal, but I’ve lost a big part of my life. Like French fries. I miss eating French fries. I’m Irish, you know. Ever since the Great Potato Famine my people get nervous if they don’t eat French fries every few days. Did you think about that?-Christopher Moore (Bloodsucking Fiends p 148)“So we’re fucked.” “It’s too early for us to be fucked. I’d say we’ve been taken to dinner and slipped the tongue on the good-night kiss.”-Christopher Moore (Bloodsucking Fiends p 150)
    • 4/5
      Some of Moore's books I really enjoy, others not. This one had me laughing till tears came into my eyes. The thing with humor is that it's different for each individual. Hence the varied ratings. I, for one, loved it. The Animals at the Supermarket made it for me.
    • 3/5
      I have enjoyed a few of Moore's books so far but I didn't find this one quite as funny or entertaining as some of the others. I will continue with the series, but I won't be rushing to grab the second.
    • 4/5
      Funny and surprising, with characters I really liked.
    • 4/5
      I read You Suck before this book, so it cleared up a few ambiguities for me. Moore's usual brand of making dark topics light hearted is in full effect. A rollicking read.
    • 4/5
      So, what do you think of when you think of vampire novels? The creepy yet compelling menace of Bela Lugosi? The tormented goth ennui of Anne Rice's Louis and Lestat? The rat-faced nightmare of Max Shrek in F.W. Murnau's Nosferatu? How about a 26 year old redhead who suffers an existential crisis when she realizes that, since her new body will never change, she'll never, ever lose those last 5 pounds? That's right folks, Christopher Moore has added a hitherto unknown element to the vampire novel: a sense of humor.

      I'll admit I'm biased. I've read most everything Moore has written, and his sense of humor hits me just right. I think it has something to do with the fruitbat. Anyway, when a topic has become as cliché and stale as the vampire novel, a dash of humor can really freshen it up. The thing that makes this novel work is that Moore has created a vampire novel where the vampire is the least interesting character.

      Next to characters like the 5 Wongs, the Vampires Anonymous support group and the Animals, our villain is a curmudgeonly old stick in the mud, hardly worthy of any attention. Which is not to say that the story has no tension, just that the more typically "horror" elements are not the main focus.

      What is the main focus, you ask? Just look at the subtitle, folks. This is the book that asks can a 26 year old undead redhead and a naïve 19 year old from Incontinence, Indiana make their relationship work? But even here Moore does not settle for the obvious. Jody (the redhead) and Tommy (the naïf) have some issues, but they have very little to do with the whole blood-drinking, sleeps-all-day, minion-of-Satan aspect of their relationship. They (and all of the myriad bizarre, odd, or just plain weird folks who pop up in this book) are just regular, recognizable folks, trying to make it day to day. They just have to do it in much stranger surroundings than most of us.

      The pace of the book is lightning fast, and Moore is extremely adept at juggling his largish cast of characters. It's rare for any characters to overstay their welcome; you move on too quickly to get bored. The characters themselves are sharply etched. Moore has a gift for delineating even incidental, nameless characters with a few deft strokes.

      Moore combines a fast-paced plot, hilariously wacky characters, and a touch of blood and melancholy and comes up with a thoroughly enjoyable postmodern vampire tale. Which is really just a high-falutin' way of saying Bloodsucking Fiends is a fine and very funny book, and I think you'll like it, if you give it a try.
    • 5/5
      I'm not usually one for vampire books, but I enjoyed this book. The characters were well developed and likeable. I wish the cover art wasn't so dull, and showed more of the characters. I thought this book was cute and easy to read. It was nice to hear how Jody and Thomas were falling in love, and the threat of the vampire hunting them. I can not wait to read the other books in the series, and see how this love story unfolds.
    • 4/5
      This turned out to be such a quick read. Before I knew it, the end had come long before I was ready for it, which left me glad that there was a second in the series, which I hope to start soon. This was a solid book, very humorous with a great flow. The characters seem ludicrous and larger than life, but at the same time, grounded in the reality of their world. Vampire Jody struggles with her very human issues while having to navigate through this new nocturnal life, which makes her so much more relatable than a character who only worries about their new vampiric life and how to survive. Jody has a suffocating mother to placate, a confused human minion/boyfriend/roommate to maneuver, and an array of self image issues to wade through before even touching her possible immortality. Meanwhile, human minion Tommy seems more than willing, at first, to completely forget about his own issues of inadequacies and loneliness, preferring instead,to deal with Jody’s condition. And then there is her mysterious creator who keeps constant tabs on her….

      All in all, it is a very quirky, very fun and lighthearted book. A refreshing read for those tired of the gloomy and brooding bloodsuckers saturating the market.
    • 3/5
      A light and funny vampire novel....
      Tommy's a teenager from Indiana, fresh off the bus to the big city, full of dreams of being a great writer... Jody's a twenty-six year old with a dead-end job and a bad relationship. But when a violent and mysterious nighttime attack leaves Jody as a vampire - but with a ton of cash - the first thing she realizes is that she'll need someone who can get around in the daytime to manage her affairs. Impressionable Tommy seems like just the right candidate. But Tommy begins to realize that a disconcerting number of corpses seem to be turning up in the vicinity of his new girlfriend...

      Fun, but remarkable for its vivid depiction of its setting, San Francisco - it really made me want to go back and visit the city again!
    • 3/5
      This book was well written but I just never connected with the characters. The two main characters just fit the stereo typical dumb young type. I disliked Thomas and his "boy" antics, his friends just as irritating. Jody, well she becomes a vampire unwillingly, she struggles with the blood need, kind of. She feels lonely, she needs somebody that can understand her needs, after only a couple of weeks ??? She never gives the another a chance. I started liking it more towards the end, then everything switched back ?!?!? Needless to say I hated the ending, and I did not like the characters, but I still enjoyed it.