You South Africa

The perfect husband

YOU know, I always thought

I was pretty unshockable,”

I announced during a particularly quiet coffee break. “But Dan really overstepped the mark at bedtime last night.”

The entire office fell into transfixed silence. Susan froze mid-snack and dropped a whole biscuit into her tea.

“Tell us, Beth!” urged Vicki, captivated. “What did he do?”

“Well . . .” I said, dramatically. “He switched off the light, snuggled up under the duvet and whispered, ‘Darling, would you pop into the bathroom fittings warehouse tomorrow and pick up a tub of waterproof grout?’ ”

“Oh dear.” Vicki giggled. “Very sexy!”

“Exactly.” I grimaced. “I lay awake half the night just thinking about it.”

“Thinking about grout?” Vicki frowned.

“Of course not. I was just wondering where the magic has gone.”

“Well, that’s marriage for you,” said Susan kindly. “We’re all a bit starved

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