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Jeffrey Epstein didn't commit suicide

Jeffrey Epstein didn't commit suicide.

He was murdered by Hillary and/or Bill Clinton. Or he was assassinated by the Russians. Or Donald Trump killed him. Or he isn't dead at all, having been spirited into the Witness Protection Program, where he presumably now shares an island mansion with Tupac Shakur and 84-year-old Elvis Presley.

Take your pick.

Epstein's apparent suicide while in federal custody

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