The Atlantic

Dear Therapist: I Don’t Want My Nightmare Brother at Thanksgiving

On one hand, we don’t get along. On the other, he lives 10 minutes away.
Source: Bianca Bagnarelli

Editor’s Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at

Dear Therapist,

I have struggled to get along with my brother for the past 15 to 20 years, putting up with his sarcasm, his demeaning behavior, and his planning family gatherings in which everyone is invited but me. If I dare to voice an opinion that differs from his, he raises his voice in a loud, frightening manner against me. Both my husband and I try to never bring up subjects that my brother and we disagree on, but on occasion something will slip out before we realize our blunder.

I know my brother has had a difficult life and I do feel a lot of compassion for him. He struggled with drug addiction throughout his

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